The kind nurse called me with the results at work, and I didn’t have the my copies of the baseline tests handy. When I got home, I looked them up to see what the upward spike looked like and discovered that the bloody numbers were actually going down.
Long live beer!
With 3.7-5.1 established as “normal,” I started two weeks ago with potassium at 5.4. Somehow the height of that was overlooked since all my other numbers were completely pukka. This time, a closer eye noticed I was sitting at 5.3. Though it’s headed downward, the doctor still wanted to monitor it. Basically, everything went down, with the exception of CO2, Calcium and something called AGAP. One piece that went down was my prealbumin. With the ideal range at 20-40, it dropped from 40 to 29. This is a number that reflects general nutrition. While it’s not good that it’s down, it proves that one can get enough nutrition to survive on beer.
By contrast, my liver numbers went up: AST, ALT and Bilirubin Direct (whatever those are). They didn’t check my cholesterol this time, but it’s feeling pretty good.
Do I need to prove anything? No. These numbers over the duration of two weeks tell some good stories. It’s possible to live on beer. It puts pressure on your liver.
Now if I could just stop tapping my foot when listening to Paul Simon’s “That Was Your Mother” and going to the bathroom all the time I would stop burning unnecessary calories–it’s 33 steps to my bathroom at work and just 15 trips works out to a half-mile of walking. Too much.
For the record, today I weighed in at 148 pounds, which means I did a good job of sitting for most of the day.